As a
fairly new Christian, I never knew there was such a thing as inner
healing. I can't tell you how excited I was by the newly-found
possibility. The only fruit I knew about was in the produce section
of the market. So imagine my surprise to find out that it not only
was that which you find stinking up your life, but that the fruit had
roots--roots that, once found, could be dug out and eradicated by the
very tracing and by prayer. Sounds simple--simple, but not all easy.
But I was willing to do the work and take the risk. Besides rotten
fruit, what did I have to lose?
The
first time around in Breakthrough to Joy (this is my second.
[author's note: I went four times, then became a facilitator]), a
lifetime of woundings were coaxed one-by-one reluctantly from their
dark hiding places and dealt with.
They
recoiled and shriveled as the Light touched them. Each week a new and
wonderful brick was laid to the foundation of my all-important
healing. The most shocking thing for me to discover was that I had
never (in my whole four years of being saved) trusted God. I thought
I did; I said I did; I believed I did. About halfway into the
classes, we dealt with our images of God--distorted, twisted or
otherwise. It came to the light that never having had anyone in my
life that could be trusted, lo and behold, I subconsciously perceived
God in the same way. In class, I searched my heart for a word to
describe aloud my image of God. It eluded me. But just as we were
about to close in prayer, He let me know that the adjective I'd been
looking for was the one called "untrustworthy". It made
sense. The second I knew it, it was gone. The mistrust was gone. It
was like a big heavy door slammed down—as in “no more of that”.
Now, that's life-changing! I went back over all the many times He was
faithful in my life to do what He said He would and all the
conversations we'd had. At that moment, I knew I could trust God--not
begin to trust Him, but trust Him! Breakthrough to Joy! I built an
altar there!
